Totally Not Suspicious Progression System
You came here to buy stuff. You accidentally started a progression system. Nobody knows who approved this.
XP Progress
Kotsios says this is balanced. Rayan is already looking for exploits. The intern gave the XP system a name and now talks to it.
💰 GB Points
Also known as “free money — but legal.”
Every time you place an order:
- You earn GB Points
- 100 points ≈ €1
- Use them to get discounts on future orders
So yes… the more you spend, the more you save. Don’t overthink it. Just nod.
⭐ XP & Levels
This is where it gets suspicious.
You don’t just get points. You also get XP.
- You level up
- You unlock better discounts
- You feel weirdly proud of yourself
We get more money. And we are proud of your progress.
Kotsios says it’s a “reward structure.” Rayan calls it “grinding but with receipts.”
🏆 Achievements
Yes, seriously. You unlock achievements for doing things like:
- 🛒 Placing your first order
- 🔥 Going full pre-order mode
- 📈 Reaching certain levels
- 🧨 Doing questionable amounts of shopping
🎁 Achievement Rewards
The achievements reward you with:
- 🎁 Bonus GB Points — seriously, it’s like we’re giving away free money
- 🧠 A sense of accomplishment you didn’t expect
The intern is currently trying to 100% them.
Rayan already did it because he likes collecting Platinums.
We haven’t told him though that we’ll eventually be adding more achievements in the future.
We are concerned.
🚀 What Happens When You Level Up?
Good question. Now we’re talking.
Higher level = better everything:
- 🔥 More points per € spent
- 🎯 Priority access to limited/pre-order items
- 🎁 Future perks we haven’t even revealed yet and don’t know if we will
You’re not just a customer anymore. You are… uh… progressing.
Basically… you become important.
🧠 How This Works
Simple version:
- Points = 💸 money
- XP = 📈 progress
- Levels = 🧢 status + better rewards
- Achievements = 🏆 bragging rights with benefits
⚠️ Small Warning
Once you start leveling up… you will not want to go back.
We’ve seen it happen.
People come in for one figure… next thing we know they’re Level 6 and asking what gives the most XP per euro.
We’re monitoring the situation.
⚠️ Side Effects May Include
- Checking your level “just to see”
- Optimizing orders for XP — don’t lie
- Unlocking something at 2AM and feeling powerful
We warned you.
Final Words from the Team
Kotsios says everything is balanced. Rayan is trying to exploit the system. The intern gave the XP system a name and now talks to it.
So yeah… you’re in good hands.
Earn Points. Gain XP. Level Up. Try not to get addicted.